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Writer's pictureFred Day

Attitude Determines the Quality of Our Lives

Updated: Feb 16


 

'Attitude determines the quality of life.'


Maybe you've heard this said before. But I would like to unpack this a little...


This statement brings up the question of what then determines our attitude towards life?


Is that simply a matter of strength of will? Our ability to cultivate and maintain positive thought patterns out of sheer strength of cognition? (This, by the way, is more-or-less the crux of cognitive behavioral therapy).


Or, is it sheer enthusiasm for life? What then affects that?


Or, is it our deep-seated beliefs about ourselves and the world?


To a degree, all of these have an impact, but I believe at a fundamental level it is to do with the latter.


Like Stephen Covey points out in the beginning chapters of his renowned book, '7 Habits of Highly Successful People', trying to affect attitude is only a superficial approach to cultivating a happier, more fulfilling life. It falls short as sooner or later these attitudes are hijacked by how we perceive the world. Instead he claims that we are better off working on the root paradigms we hold - the lens through we see and understand ourselves and the world.


It is in fact our paradigms that give rise to our attitudes and behaviors, which in turn determine the quality of our lives. The way we perceive the world shapes how we interpret the world. Once we can change our beliefs and perspectives of the world, we begin to act differently. Our thoughts change, our attitudes towards challenging situations change, and our behaviors change. This leads to a change of experience, which in turn reinforces that alternative paradigm, further reinforcing the new attitudes and behaviors.


Through this we create a positive feedback loop based on longterm constructive habits and actions (emerging from newly founded roots belief systems), opposed to behavior patterns of short-term instant gratification, set about unconsciously numbing pain from the negative life situation, which then in fact lead to long term pain and dissatisfaction. Thus merges change in the quality of our life situation.



Okay, but to back track, how then do we shift our root paradigms?


I believe this comes down to the extent of our 'healing' from our conditioned behavior and deep seated emotional wounds. Or put another way in Integral Theory terms, the degree of 'cleaning up' - which is the depth to which we are integrating our past experiences and shadows (disowned aspect of ourselves). Convey tells us sometimes the 'paradigm shift is slow and painful, and deliberate', which is to say the healing journey is painful as we begin to process and integrate our past.


The shift also comes about on a spiritual level (the realm of 'waking up' in Integral Theory terms), as we begin to wake up to deeper truths about ourselves and reality, we are better able to use our discernment as to what is really true and what is merely mind-constructed. Through this, new belief systems arise. This is an integration of the emotional and karmic bodies.



Methods or modalities used for both these aspects:


  • Meditation

  • Subconscious work

  • Shadow work

  • Plant medicine

  • Trauma work

  • Cognitive level work


Covey is all about building a new paradigm based on universal laws of success (which is what his book goes into). The more we integrate their foundational qualities into our character, the more we get lasting change in our life situation. And I say, the chances and speed of integrating these qualities depends on our depths of psychological growth ('growing up'), healing and awakening.



Chain of Change


Root belief systems / paradigms → attitude & behaviors → life situation


Using a Integral Theory map:


Healing (cleaning up) → Growing Up & Showing Up → (increased capacity for) Healing → (enhances) Waking Up → Healing

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