Have you found yourself asking these questions as you aspire to a greater version of yourself?
How can I embody my masculinity and become more confident whilst not falling into the trap of toxic red-pill ideology?
How can I make transformations that actually last, and without getting stuck in mental masturbation, knowing the theory but lacking implementation?
How do I stop repeated patterns of
self-sabotage and actually move towards the better life I aspire to create?
How can I free myself from the grip of codependency and finally put an end to frustrating relationship dynamics?
Then probably most of the
following apply to you ...
You’ve let unchecked people-pleasing and weak boundaries keep you living a shadow version of yourself.
You walk around carrying a lump in your throat, afraid to express your authentic desires and feelings, instead wear a mask to fit in and please others.
You are unfulfilled with your current relationship due repeated patterns of chaos, push-pull dynamics & a lack of fulfilling sexual connection.
You're aware of how your avoidance is sabotaging you acquiring the love & intimacy you actually crave.
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You can no longer tolerate self-sabotaging behaviours like addictions & procrastination… but, have yet discovered how to resolve them.
You’re weighed down by the frustration, knowing more is possible in life. The thought of stagnating life terrifies you.
You desire to become a man who's taken seriously, who’s activated his potential and is unapologetically himself.
You've avoided any kind of confrontation and as a result have let people walk over you and take advantage of you.
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If these patterns are true for you, most likely, early emotional neglect & family dynamics instilled a sense of shame around who you are.
This led to a lack of self-worth and a pattern self-abandonment: you disconnected from your needs and disowned parts of yourself in order to appease others.
This is your learnt survival strategy: not being a burden to anyone is how you got your needs met growing up.
Read more on the origins of these patterns here…
Have you ever wondered why you’re trapped
IN THESE CYCLES?
But if you stay operating from this strategy, you’ll struggle to ever get what you truly want, letting people walk all over you & living a lack-luster love life pent up with resentment.
BUT IMAGINE HOW THINGS WOULD BE IF YOU'D TRANSFORM FROM ...
This transformation is absolutely possible for you!
I HAVE DONE THIS,
AND SO CAN YOU.
I let my unhealed wounds and unconscious belief-systems wreak havoc in my life. I spent a long time letting various addictions and avoidance issues keep me from my masculine core. After long fought battles, and utilising powerful transformation tools, I began to integrate my rejected parts. Now being confronted with how much confusion there is on the topic of masculinity, I offer my guidance and all the tools and techniques I have collected along my way to men just like you, to embody healthy, conscious masculinity,
WITHOUT FALLING INTO THE TRAP OF TOXIC, RED-PILL MACHOISM, NOR REMAINING TRAPPED IN SELF-LIMITING, NICE GUY PATTERNS.
Read what other men say about working with me and
the benefits of their transformative journey ...
Nelson, UK
“Through his coaching, I gained a newfound sense of purpose and a clearer vision for my future. The experience was very positive as Fred was super empathetic and made it super easy to talk to."
James, Berlin
"Taking the work that we did into the real world has made significant changes in my life: I have better control over my people-pleasing tendencies & I am now less socially anxious. I can only recommend Fred & the embodiment coaching"
Justus, Zürich
"Fred's calm presence, attentive listening & genuine warmth made me feel comfortable to discuss my experiences, pick them apart & find myself much more at ease with them than I had thought possible."
INTEGRAL EMBODIMENT
A 3-part, non-linear framework that assures your effective transformation
Mindset & World Paradigms
Know that until you fix more constructive paradigms & you develop the right kind of mindset, you’ll stay in your limited perspective & victim mentality.
➤ Broaden your worldview to include multiple perspectives & more nuance.
➤ Develop your psychology according to various developmental models.
➤ Implement impeccable self-leadership & self-awareness.
➤ Begin the necessary subconscious reprogramming to let go of outdated beliefs systems.
Psycho-Emotional Processing
Understand that until you actually work on processing suppressed emotions, no amount of mindset work will be effective for any long.
➤ Clear out stagnant, repressed emotions that can easily surface & disrupt any vision you’ve created or healthy mindset you’ve developed.
➤ Learn effective shadow work practices that lift you out of destructive patterns & allow you to harness their power for good.
➤ Establish mature emotional intelligence & grit, without becoming fragile.
Embodiment
Embodiment stops you getting stuck in mental masturbation, knowing all the theory but without any consistent implementation & affect in the world.
➤ Embody archetypal masculine energies.
➤ Cultivate felt-sense to assist emotional processing, increase intuition & develop emotional intelligence.
➤ Learn your character structures & release your body's armour & tense fascia.
➤ Explore practices to build your nervous system regulation.
Shift Your Perspective
➡︎ Stage development
according to Integral Theory
➡︎ Cognitive behavioural techniques
➡︎ Reprogramming subconscious core beliefs
➡︎ Ground spiritual development in robust psychology
Face the Darkness
➡︎ Healing Mother & Father Wounds
➡︎ Inner-child & Inner-parts Work
➡︎ Integrative Shadow Work
➡︎ Process suppressed emotions
Live & Feel It
➡︎ Nervous System Regulation
➡︎ Strozzi-Heckler’s 'Somatic Arc of Transformation'
➡︎ Embodiment of Masculine Archetypes
➡︎ Bioenergetics & unlocking chronically tense fascia
➡︎ Body Awareness & cultivating felt-sense
MODALITIES & APPROACHES
This list is not exhaustive, nor will we utilize every approach: I treat you as an individual with compassionate presence and look into exactly where you're holding yourself back, to apply the most suitable modalities and approaches accordingly.
Disclaimer
Disclaimer: I am not a trauma therapist, however I have had extensive training & education around trauma and consider myself to be trauma informed. I work with integrity and do not shy away from referring you on if you're trauma requires more specialised treatment.
CORE THEMES
We cover the areas where you are most held back from living a life of fulfilment. These are all topics i've worked on & resolved in my own life, and I look forward sharing my wealth of information & guidance. Know these areas are deeply intertwined, and it's impossible to cover one without the other.
01.
What are the benefits of this method?
Look, I am aware the industries full of big promises with small results. I don't want to offer more snake-oil. That's why I aim to cover these 3 areas of personal transformation, with a focus on embodiment - something many other neglect or teach wrong. People often only focus on 1 (or at best 2) of these aspects of inner work. Learning the hard way myself & seeing others get stuck, i've come to understand that it's vital to cover all 3 areas in order to sustain lasting change in our behavior patterns, as well as the ways in which we relate to the world and others. I'm also not here to promote alpha-dog, red-pill clichés nor out-dated stereotypes. What I teach is authenticity above all. Yet, I also don't pander to the polar opposite views on masculinity, where it's deconstructed beyond sense and you're told to embrace fragility.
02.
What's unique about me?
As much as i've practiced & had spiritual experiences, I am tired of spiritual scenes, the overused jargon and toxic personas. Although I have to check my own judgements, I can't help but cringe these days. So, if it's on your radar we can go there, but we'll keep it real. Men's work is a saturated space, I get it. At the end of the day, you vibe with who you vibe with. But have discernment for the uninitiated who'll only take you further into your folly. I continue my work under the guidance of mentors who keep me in integrity. I'm someone who's done a lot of the heavy-lifting inside a relationship. It's pushed me to my breaking point & humbled me many times. I'm not someone who takes relationship lightly, and i've learned to practice reflection, ownership & initiating before jumping ship. Embodiment is my thing. I've been exploring various practices for over 10 years now. I've discovered how feeling-consciousness rooted in our bodies is key for healing & growth.
BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL
If you take this path, you can put an end to your people-pleasing, your anxiety around women and weak boundaries.
exudes confidence & grit
is not swayed by the judgement of others
is actively living out his potential
effortlessly attracts partners he once only dreamed of being with
establishes deep, thriving intimacy in his chosen relationships
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Learn to embody healthy masculinity and become a conscious, resilient man who...
DON'T LET YOUR UNADDRESSED AVOIDANCE ISSUES DICTATE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE.
DON'T LET HABITS OF SELF-SABOTAGE ROB YOUR OF YOUR PRECIOUS YEARS AND KEEP YOU FROM YOU POTENTIAL.
DON'T LET YOUR NICE-GUY PERSONA STEAL OPPORTUNITIES FOR DEEP INTIMACY & LEAVE YOU ROTTING IN MEDIOCRACY.
COACHING OPTIONS
Bi-weekly sessions
24/7 contact for support
Information sheets & recordings
Notion Portal + accountability tracking
Copies of session notes
Before requesting my coaching service, please make sure...
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You are prepared to invest in yourself financially and with your time.
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You've chosen me off your own back, not at someone else's suggestion.
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You are prepared to take absolute responsibility for your life situation & understand your empowerment is a byproduct the conscious decisions you make & work you do on yourself.
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You are willing to dive into discomfort and address all the areas of your life you've been avoiding.
As a man, your empowerment and growth is predicated on the connection you have to other conscious men.
Men who’ve have step into the fire and have had the inner-resolve needed to transform from boyhood to embodied masculinity.
If you’re not actually making the changes needed to get a different outcome in life, then you will stay stuck with in repeating patterns.
If you want different results, you need to start doing something new…
NO MAN IS AN ISLAND
Despite your best efforts going this path alone will bring you so far.
FAQs
01.
why pay for a men’s coach? coaches are for business people or athletes
Paying for a men's coach is crucial if you're wanting to develop. As a specified men's coach I address issues related to your growth as a man and the things which hold you back from developing a healthy sense of masculinity. Just as atheltes take coaching to develop their skills, you too can benefit from being taught skills, given feedback and having accountability. If you've been stuck in the same rut up to now without any coaching, then continuing to not invest in yourself will only produce the same results.
02.
what about red-pill? toxic masculinity? i don’t want to become a toxic jerk.
The topic of toxic mascunlinity is pretty hot these days. I can totally understand the genuine fear of not wanting to become a toxic jerk (as some figures might want you). No one wants to be an asshole for the sake of it. But remember, being a nice-guy isn't actually nice at all. Although you might appear harmless on the surface, as a nice guy your manipulative tendencies and avoidance of conflict cause more harm than good. Being a good man is not the same as being a nice guy. And as much as there are toxic traits that men need to heal from, to demonize all masculinity and convince men to become effeminate is also not the answer.
03.
i’ve read everything on the nice-guy, why do i need coaching?
Look, reading and emassing knowledge is only one small fraction of the whole puzzle here. You can amass knowledge and analyze yourself to kingdom come - but, until those insights are put into practice and made a lived part of your reality, it counts for nothing. That's why I put a huge emphasis on embodiment in my coaching. This coaching itself will give you the accountability to actually start implementing the work, as well as helping you resolve the psychological wounding that has led to your patterns.
04.
how do the coaching sessions work?
The 3-part framework is non-linear. That means depending on your situation, we could start with any area. But as a general guideline, I aim to do 2 sessions in each area for a 3 month package, or 12 with a 6 month package. However, some sessions might cover a particular topic within all 3 areas. The coaching sessions take place over zoom or in person in Berlin. They are 90 minutes long, and that includes and integration period and discussion of practices. Included with the session is a dashboard on Notion where you can track all the work we do together.
i don't identify as a nice guy, do you offer coaching still?
Yes. Even if you don't identify as a nice guy and you feel you don't have problems with boundaires, codependency or people-pleasing, i can still certainly help you. In the past I have successfully worked with men on a range of topics, including discipline, work-life balance, find purpose, enchancing sexual satisfaction and resolving attachment issues. If you're interested in working with me, please fill out the application form and include a description of your current issue.